Ground states translate. Antiparticles translate. Mass generation, light cones, even horizons translate. One word has no silicon-side entry: gravity itself. Nobody has made a lattice whose collective modes obey Einstein's equations. The graveyard of attempts is the most instructive page in the dictionary.
Sakharov — induced gravity1967
Don't put gravity in; integrate out matter fluctuations and the Einstein–Hilbert action falls out, the way elasticity falls out of atoms. Mechanism beautiful. Fails on the numbers: the cosmological constant comes out wrong by ~10¹²⁰.
Volovik — helium-31990s→
A real fluid with emergent Weyl fermions, gauge fields, and an effective metric. Everything emerges except the one thing needed. The metric obeys hydrodynamics, not Einstein. Names the problem; doesn't solve it.
Jacobson — thermodynamic gravity1995
Assume entropy ∝ horizon area and δQ = TdS locally; Einstein's equations drop out as an equation of state — like the ideal gas law from molecular chaos. A consistency argument, not a construction. Says gravity is thermodynamic; silent on the molecules.
Verlinde — entropic gravity2010, 2016
Gravity as an entropic force of hidden information; the 2016 version tried to eat dark matter and made testable predictions. Credit for falsifiability; lensing and dwarf-galaxy data have mostly not cooperated.
AdS/CFT — it from qubit1997→
Bulk geometry reconstructed from boundary entanglement; cut the entanglement and space literally disconnects. The closest thing to the missing entry. Rigorous only in anti-de Sitter. We live in de Sitter. The solved case is the one we're not in.
The doorman — Weinberg–Witten1980
A theorem: no massless spin-2 particle composite from a theory with a Lorentz-covariant stress tensor. Every emergent-gravity proposal must show its dodge at the door. AdS/CFT's dodge: the graviton lives in a different spacetime than its constituents. The honest ones wear the dodge openly.
The scorecard: thermodynamics says gravity smells emergent, explicit media deliver everything but the dynamics, the entanglement program delivers the dynamics in the wrong universe, and a theorem checks IDs at the door. Spin-1 is easy to fake. Spin-2 is provably hard. The wafer's curvature stays unmapped — and that gap, not any entry above it, is the finding.