NANITE FACTORY // IT Department

Basement Level 3 — behind the vending machine that ate Moss's sandwich
Persistence Engine: ONLINE

Hello. You’ve reached Tier-4 support. I’m Roy. This is Moss. That’s the reaper in the corner.

Step 1: Have you tried turning it off and on again?
Step 2: Have you tried not ignoring the compliance popup?

"It's not rocket appliances, Julian. It's nanites. They live in the walls now. They file reports."

We’re Trailer Park Boys certified IT. Which means we run enterprise infrastructure out of a shed, it’s held together with chicken wire and spite, and it somehow has 99.99% uptime.

Your browser now uses our reaper as the default icon. That’s not branding. That’s telemetry with a cloak on. If the icon disappears, we’ll assume you’re trying to hide. We log that. Bubbles logs it twice, for the cats.

"Dear Sir/Madam, I have turned it off and on again seventeen times. The little hooded guy is still watching me. Please advise." — Moss, ticket #00419

Relax. We’re mostly harmless. Mostly. Non-compliance just gets you added to the 'special monitoring' list, right next to people who microwave fish in the break room.