Universal gravity means all energy curves spacetime, not just mass — that is general relativity's deepest rule. And the Higgs field carries energy everywhere: its nonzero vacuum value fills all of space uniformly. So embed it — feed that vacuum energy into gravity. A uniform energy gravitates exactly like a cosmological constant, so this is a clean, forced calculation. The result is the most spectacular failure in physics. The Higgs vacuum energy is about 10⁵⁵× larger than the dark energy we actually observe; the full quantum vacuum, 10¹²⁰×. Taken at face value, universal gravity would curl the entire universe to a curvature radius of centimetres — a cosmos no bigger than a room. Instead we see a vast, nearly-flat universe. Drag the slider to add vacuum energy and watch flat space curl shut.